Dad Jokes and Old Folks

Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Candlestick

thatsnotfunnydad — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:07:13 +0000

Not put off by his previous somewhat disaterous attempt at cooking dinner Dad had another try. This time it was to be a chicken curry.

Once again it looked good, it smelled good, but this time it did not taste quite so good…

As we found out after a few tastebud testing mouthfulls dear-old-dad had mistaken the tin of mustard for the tin of curry! Mmmm, discusting.

Mmmm, crunchy…

thatsnotfunnydad — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:57:13 +0000

My father didn’t often make dinner when we were kids but when he did it we knew it was going to be ‘special’.

One day dad decided to make Chlli Con Carne, a spicy meat dish served with rice.

The meal was served up. It smelled good, it looked good….mmm, it even tastes good….hmmm, hey dad, what are these little brown squishy worm things all in the rice?? Looks like…..ummm, maggots?

Hmmm, yeah, weevils had gotten into the rice, laid their eggs and those eggs had hatched into squiggly discusting larvae which now happened to be in our dinner. They were dead now, but they were definately still there.

Dad hadn’t noticed this all through the cooking process and was now not going to let this oversight ‘spoil’ our meal. Despite our loud protests Dad demanded we eat the meal, worms and all!!

After all, in dads words “the larvae add extra protein”. Shaddup and eat!

Tasty!

Beary bad

thatsnotfunnydad — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:42:55 +0000

Q – What did the Teddy Bear say after eating a four course meal?

A – “I’m stuffed!”

Boo…

Batty

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:08:42 +0000

Dad just told me about a experience he had recently. He saw a barrister in full legal robes drop his papers and stuff. Dad helped him pick it up and the barrister thanked him. Dad replied with, “That’s okay, mate, any friend of Batman is a friend of mine.”

He laughed, apparently.

(Thanks to Donna for this comedy GOLD)

Rude!

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:55:15 +0000

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Timmy fell in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Timmy had a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was the girl next door.

A new breed of dad joke

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:33:06 +0000

Whats the difference between birdflu and swineflu?

For birdflu you need tweetment and for swineflu you need….oinkment!!!

Hungry for laughs

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:25:43 +0000

Me: Dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: Hello Hungry, my name is Dad, pleased to meet you.

Half price

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:19:40 +0000

When mentioning you are going to the movies dad will no doubt say:

“Try to get in for half, love….so, which half of you wants to go?”

Dead funny pt.2

thatsnotfunnydad — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 01:15:12 +0000

Said when driving past a cemetary – ‘ must be the dead centre of town!!’ bwahahaha!

a pitiful joke

thatsnotfunnydad — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:59:35 +0000

Q: Hey did you hear the joke about the watermelon?

A: No, ah well, don’t worry it is pretty pitfull.